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A BROKEN HEART IS LIKE A BROKEN RIB, NOBODY CAN SEE IT, BUT IT HURTS EVERY TIME WE BREATH

Sometimes a breakup comes like a tornado that ruins your dreams and leaves you with a hole in your heart, feeling lost in the middle of your emotional debris. If you have ever been in love and rejected by your beloved, you are familiar with the agony of heartbreak that pierced through your heart and made it bleed in pain. You remember days and nights that you were sad or perhaps you cried, and all you craved was reuniting with your beloved, but you couldn't because you were rejected. Those sleepless nights and never ending days that filled you with the thoughts of one and only one person, your beloved, who didn't want to be with you any more because ...... felt like forever.

Maybe you are going through the pain of heartbreak right now, and you are wondering why you are feeling hurt just because your partner dumped you or cheated on you? How come you are still madly in love with someone who no longer wants to be with you and shouted at you "GO AWAY"? Why do you keep talking to your friends for hours about him/her but can't find any comfort? Why do you hurt so much? Why don't family and friends understand your pain and hurt you even more when they tell you “I told you so” or “what’s wrong with you?” To answer these questions, we need to understand the brain in love.

When we come to the end of a romantic relationship we usually feel hurt, angry, sad and anxious without knowing any obvious reason. We often have a hard time letting go of our love, and we are willing to do almost about anything to win them back. We feel a strong urge to go back to our partner right after breakup and constantly seeking for a way to reconciliate. But what are the reasons behind this behavior? The truth is that love is an addiction just like cocaine or heroin addiction. Research shows that the behavior of a heartbroken person is similar to the behavior of a cocaine addict who is trying to quit.

In 2010, Dr. Helen Fisher and her colleagues, conducted a research with the help of functional MRI, on neurobiology of being in love by scanning the brain of 15 men and women who were intensely in love but were rejected by their romantic partners. When a participant gazed at the photo of their rejecter beloved, several areas of the brain were stimulated. One of those areas was the Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) which controls motivation and reward. When VTA is triggered, it releases a flood of neurotransmitter Dopamine (also known as pleasure chemical) into the brain's reward and motivation centers called the Caudate Nucleus and Nucleus Accumbens. These parts of the brain are associated with craving and addiction which are also stimulated in drug addiction. This research concluded that people with broken heart were really suffering from a drug addiction, and the drug was the person rejecting them. The rejected person can also be addicted to the time spent with the other person, their text messages, their conversations, their company, their affection or the sex. It can also be the thoughts of what could have been like if they stayed together, which would never happen. As a cocaine addict might do almost anything to get hands on the drug to bring back the good feeling, a person rejected in love might turn to obsessive behavior such as physical or virtual stalking (in social media) to find a way to get back with the beloved. Love is addictive and obsessive.

"When you're in love, it's not as if you are an addict but you really are an addict"

That is why you need a rehab to recover from your love addiction just like an alcoholic who attends AA groups to recover from alcohol addiction. You need a professional to help you heal and support of people who are experiencing the same pain as you who would share their experiences and pain with you. There is healing in sharing without being judged or blamed with people who are going through the same pain. Broken hearts do heal, but it’s easier when we do it together.

Join our groups and start healing your heart.

Group starts on: 6/7/2021

Group capacity: 8

Number of sessions: 8

Weekdays: Mondays and Wednesdays

Time: 6:00-7:30 pm central time